I'm proud of my heart. It's been played, burned, and broken, but it still works :)..

I'm bored on this Sunday night so I decided to get on this thing and read what I've written in the past. I noticed that the last time I wrote was during New Years and boy, have I come such a long way from then. I'm so proud of myself, seriously. I read NOW and I don't even know why I acted the way I did back then. Well, I lie, I do know why but I'm so glad I got over it. All of that anger, the grudges.. everything was destroying me inside little by little. By forgiving everyone else, I also forgave myself. I remember so many people telling me to do this for months and I just wouldn't listen, I guess I'm that hard-headed. But hey, everyone learns in their own way. I've realized so much in the last couple of months. I've realized who my TRUE friends are, even though that sounds cliche-ish, I've realized that NO ONE can make me feel inferior without my consent (I remember I loved that line in 'The Princess Diaries' :]) But anyway I got rid of the people who don't deserve to be in my life and let a couple stay in it, just to save some drama. I've been feeling quite good lately. I don't know what it is. :) .. I see everything from a different perspective now and I love it. I love my new rule in life, which is NOT to hold any grudges. I may get angry at people every once in a while but I'll live. Why should I be miserbale while everyone else is living their life happily? Does that make any sense? Do I really deserve that? NOPPEE! So Vanessa is gonna live for Vanessa :] .. I also remember I would talk a whole lot of crap about wanting to leave ACLA but now that graduation is getting closer by the ending of each day I sorta don't want to leave. ACLAs been my home for so long and I don't know how I'm just gonna leave it all behind but yeah.. you gotta grow up some time, right? I'm pretty ecstatic for college to begin, even though I don't know what college I'll be attending yet. But I know God is gonna point me towards the right direction. I just need to be patient. Thats one thing I'm trying to master, patience. I've been patient with a lot of things lately and everything has been going well *knocks on wood 3 times. I hope it continues this way :) I'm also talking to someone who I care SOO much for, I talk to this kid every day and I swear we NEVER have a dull moment.. ever lol I have so much love for him<3 .. He always has me smiling or laughing. Hes always there for me when I need him the most. I haven't felt this way in such a long time. I told myself I wasn't gonna let this happen again, but it was so inevitable cus he's such a sweetheart :)<3 .. I'd be lying if I said he doesn't make me happy.. this really came out of no where too but everything happens for a reason. I know theres a reason all this is happening all of a sudden, and I promise you if this is something I really want and its something I've been waiting for, I won't let it pass me by .. but yeah, I think thats all I had to get off my chest for now.. my phones right next to me and its blinking PURPLE so I gotta attend to that asap ;)<3 .. til later my loves<3.